Training to Find Myself
by theEnd710
Summary: With the start of a new year comes new initiates and even a few new instructors. No- War. Four and Six. Disclaimer: I do not own the Divergent Trilogy or any of its characters.
1. Chapter 1

I hate this. Why won't my hair just cooperate for once? I know I'm not all that pretty, but I at least want to try to be. I'm sick of people looking at me like I'm some sort of a child.

Especially Peter.

How many times to I have to kick his ass before he understands that I'm just as much dauntless as he is? He makes me so angry with his snarky remarks about how I have the body of a twelve year old boy and then uses my fear of intimacy like it's icing on the freaking cake! Not to mention how he constantly talks about his superiority and how the only way I placed so highly was because I was "bangin' the fucking instructor."

The truth is, it shouldn't bother me so much. I mean, look how things ended up working out. I'm Six. Former Stiff, fearless instructor, girlfriend of Four, master of pissing Eric off. That's basically all there is to it, and who is Peter? Barista at the local coffee shop, flirting his way through life.

I guess it just bothers me because I don't want the initiates to have the same idea. How stupid is that? I'm worried about how the initiates will judge me. Just great.

It's then that I realize Tobias is grumbling about having to get up so early, slowly opening his eyes, and rolling out of our bed.

"Well aren't you just a ray of sunshine in the morning." I quip. He slumps over before getting up and walking over to where I stand in front of the dresser.

"I'd be more pleasant, but _someone__'__s _a fussy sleeper. I swear you kick on purpose." With that, I start to chuckle, forgetting my nervousness all together.

"I'm gonna take a shower," he says, kissing my cheek. "Are you ready for today?"

"Not even close." I tell him. He frowns a bit before carefully eyeing the hair products sprawled out in front of me, offering a knowing smile.

"This isn't you." He tells me, picking up a bottle of hairspray, trying to analyze it. "Your hair looks fine the way it is." He offers me a small smile, and I respond by gently taking the hairspray from his hands and pecking him on the mouth.

"I just want to make a good impression." I say, before looking down, "I don't want them to think I'm weak just because…"

He cuts me off.

"The best way to show them your not week is by being yourself, and Tris, your new instructor name says it all. Just get dressed. Don't bother with this." He takes my hand in his, and I pull him in for a hug, burying my face in his shoulder.

"I love you." I tell him.

"I love you, too, _Six.__" _He adds in the last part for good measure, smirking, before walking into the bathroom and closing the door.

I decide to brush through my hair, but leave it as is. I've somehow allowed my nervousness to get the best of me. I change into a black t- shirt, black shorts, and of course, my now infamous combat boots, worn whether it's hot or cold, rain or shine.

Soon enough, the water from the shower shuts off, and Tobias walks out of the bathroom in nothing but a towel. Out of habit, I turn three shades of red before looking the other way, and I can already hear his heart beat speeding up a bit.

"Oh," he breathes, "I thought you would be at breakfast. I'm sorry."

"No, Tobias, it's okay, we- we sleep in the same bed, share the same apartment, and we're… we're even starting to get intimate. This shouldn't be so scandalous." I look over to him, trying to show him that I am being sincere.

"You're right. Step by step?" He's been asking that a lot lately- moving in, working together, whatever it may be…

"Step by step." I confirm.

He quickly find his closing, nevertheless changing in the bathroom. When he comes back out, I realize we're running a bit late.

"We better hurry if we're going to make it to the net on time." I tell him.

"No time for food?" He pouts a bit, making me laugh.

"We'll feast at lunch." I promise him.

I take his hand and we make our way over to meet Christina and Uriah, who are training the dauntless- born initiates. We get the transfers, per usual for Tobias.

As we wait for the jumpers, Uriah comes over, already laughing, cluing us in on all of the practical jokes he has in store for his initiates. Tobias puts his instructor face on, obviously tuning out the conversation around him.

"What's with him? Debby downer today, aye Four?" Uriah pats his face. Tobias crosses his arms, giving Uriah the death glare. I touch Uriah's shoulder, trying to tell him to back off.

Just then, I hear Christina call "First Jumper- Melissa from Amity." The dauntless that came to watch start half- heartedly clapping for the tall, bleach blonde beauty who is now smiling and beaming at all those around her, knowing she achieved at least _some _respect for jumping first.

I close my eyes and breathe _They__'__re just stupid initiates. _I tell myself. I look over at Tobias, who, in return, gives me a nod of encouragement.

10 minutes later and Tobias and I are standing before a crowd of 12 transfers and 10 dauntless- born, which from my understanding, is a bit more than average.

"Hello everyone. My name is Four, and this is my partner Six," I smile lightly, "we will be your instructors for the weeks to come, Transfers. Dauntless- born, you're with Christina and Uriah. As you are probably beginning to understand, not all of you will become Dauntless. You chose us, now we must choose you. For the next few weeks, you will learn what being fearless means, and through physical, mental, and emotional challenges, the weak will be found it and left for the factionless." Harsh, Four. Real Harsh.

"This morning will be about getting to know each other, and just as well, getting to know the headquarters. Dauntless, I assume you know your way around by now. Transfers, follow us."

We take them to the pit, the dorms, the cafe, training center, and lastly, the chasm.

They all ooh and ah at the terror that is the chasm. We tell them the threats of getting to close and the history of the spot, leaving out our personal quarrels, of course. As I explain to the initiates the consequences of threatening each other's lives outside of our regulated activities, I have my back turned to the horrific body of water. As Tobias notices this, he carefully weaves his arm around my waist. I smile, catching the attention of some of the initiates.

My short temper gets the best of me, and I shoot mean looks at some of the girls who, at this point, I'm sure are talking about me.

We dismiss them for dinner, following close behind.

As I walk into the dining hall, two girls remain by the door, looking me up and down.

"Is there a problem?" I ask one of the girls. She giggles, and I look at her friend, raising my eyebrows.

"Might I remind you that your fate here rests in my hands." The friend, a redheaded girl with green eyes and a few too many freckles, immediately apologizes, before the giggling brunette interrupts her, saying,

"Oh, sorry, _Six,_" she says in a mocking way, "We we're just over here trying to understand how someone who looks like, well, you, could get someone like him." She gestures to Tobias. That surprised me. How did they even know we were together?

"It's not all about looks." I huff. "I'm called Six for a reason, and you're not one of them" She looks confused for a moment, but laughs at me all the same. I don't let her see as I look down, walking away with a certain notion of hurt in my eyes.

Tobias is sitting with Zeke and Lauren, drinking a beer, and I join him.

"What was that all about?" He asks me, gesturing to the two girls by the door. I shake my head, not wanting to respond, and he puts his arm around my shoulder, turning around to give them a look to let them know how screwed they are.

He kisses my head.

"You don't have to baby me. I'm not weak." I whisper.

"I know. You're human." He tells me, and suddenly, I realize that none of it matters, as long as he knows who I am.

"Let's get ready to train some initiates." I tell him, smiling. He returns the look, and laughs as I begin to scarf as much food down as possible.

This is going to be one hell of a ride…


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N Sorry for taking so long… Just a short drabble, but I hope this will hold you over until I actually update, which will be somewhat soon. **

"I don't need you to protect me, Tobias; I'm fine on my own." By the look on his face, I can tell I'm making him upset. Good. I am strong, and I will hold my ground.

"So now I'm not even allowed to defend you? Tris, that's just ridiculous." He's right. I know he's right, but I don't care. I'm so tired of all the initiates thinking they can walk all over me.

"I'm not weak! I can defend myself- I don't need you threatening them every time they say something about me or make a pass at me!" He's scoffing at me.

We're in the training room, and all of the initiates have left. I feel my face reddening with a mix of anger, embarrassment, and hurt.

"What is this really about? I know you, and I know you can protect yourself. That's why you've never minded me stepping in before. Because you know if you would need to, you could do it. So what's different this time?" He's getting closer to me, and he touches my arm.

"Don't get upset." I whisper. I close the distance between us and wrap my arms around his torso, turning my head to the side. I don't like yelling; I don't like anger.

He strokes my hair, letting me know it's okay to go on. I don't need his validation for what I'm about to say; I know he won't like it. I just need him to know that I _don't _need some knight in shining armor to protect me at every turn. I'm just as strong as he is, and he knows that.

"Have you heard the male initiates talking recently?" I ask.

He doesn't respond.

"They've been talking about… doing things to me," I gulp, "sexually." He tenses. I'm tense.

I feel myself crying, and I want it to stop. I suck in my breath as if that will make me seem tougher. I feel his fists on my back, so I loosen my arms from his waist and take his hands.

"You're scared," he tells me. "Don't be scared." He brushes my hair behind my ear, but I frown.

"I don't want you to protect me." I tell him, and he chuckles.

"No matter what you say or what you want, I am always going to protect you. But you don't need me to. If those idiots tried anything with you, I know you know how to protect yourself." He's right; I do know. I just hate the idea of them wanting me in that way- of them wanting to take advantage of me just because I'm assertive, and I know what I want.

I sigh softly, and Tobias is closing his eyes. I know he's holding back the urge to go after them just because I don't want him to, and I really appreciate him for that.

We stand in silence for another moment then start walking.

I look up at him… "can we go home?"

He only smiles, and we walk towards the apartment we share. I quickly change and climb into bed, even though it's 7:30. Tobias climbs in after me, wrapping his arm around me. We lay there, both awake, and let the silence consume us.


End file.
